COPS: Vice City
by Jose Philipe Mendola
Summary: COPS in Vice City. Everythig they cant say or do. 4 of a few up. Please R
1. Chapter 1

COPS: Vice City  
Chapter 1  
Jose Philipe Mendola  
  
Legal Notice: I do not hold any affiliations with Rockstar or RockstarNorth. All corporate names are borrowed and used without permission. Though I am not seeing ANY money from this, the possibility of suing is still possible. Pray for me kids.  
  
Apologies: Many apologies to E-Z-B, who first did COPS: Liberty City. Sorry to leech off your idea, but it was too good to pass us. Say the word, my man, and you wont see this fic up.  
  
Authors Note: Yeah, I know. 'Real original Jose. why don't you do an Evil Dead Millionaire Fic?' Screw off. I'm bored and I ran into a good idea that I'm now running with. Enjoy.  
  
1:23 PM. Downtown Vice City  
  
Carl: Yeah, I've been on this beat for some time. I first started working for the Vice City Police force back in 69. Not too much has changed, but we cant beat the shit out of hippies anymore.  
  
~A voice is heard, distorted, over the cars radio. Carl picks up the receiver~  
  
Carl: 14-5. Copy.  
  
~The siren is heard and the car accelerates~  
  
Carl: What we have going on here is a possible hostile situation at the Greasy Chopper. Guess someone walked in again without an invite. Happens a lot.  
  
~The siren blasts a few more times to move some slow moving cars. Seconds later (due to good editing), Carl arrives at the scene. Putting the car in park, Carl exits the car and jogs toward the door~  
  
Carl: What's going on here?  
  
~The camera focuses on a man that is outside the bar. He is wearing a leather biker vest and cut off jeans~  
  
Man: what are you talking about? Nothing's going on here.  
  
Carl: Mitch Baker. Well, well. Why am I not surprised to see you here?  
  
Mitch: I practically LIVE here, officer.  
  
Carl: OK, maybe you can tell me what's going on here.  
  
~A man staggers out of the bar, bleeding from his head. Carl sees him, but puts it off as important. The man is clutching at his side~  
  
Mitch; Well, as I saw it, some guy comes into the bar, sits down at the bar, orders a drink, then gets up and HITS himself with a pool cue.  
  
Carl: That sounds odd.  
  
~Three men, dressed similarly like Mitch, come out of the bar. One is shouldering a bat, one a pool cue, another a small club~  
  
Mitch: Well, I'll be danged if that man don't fall to the ground bleeding, fall on a bullet 9That got lodged in his side), and attack one or two of my friends while he's at it.  
  
~The three men that came out of the bar proceed to beat the downed man with all they have. Swearing at him, they continue their assault. Carl still writes it off~  
  
Carl: So if any physical contact was made, it was because of-  
  
Carl and Mitch: Self Defense.  
  
~The three men walk away from the bleeding outsider and go back into the bar~  
  
Carl: Thanks Mitch, we'll find that bastard that attacked your friends.  
  
~Mitch points behind Carl~  
  
Mitch: Why, there he is NOW officer!  
  
~Carl turns around and draws his pistol. He points it at the downed criminal~  
  
Carl: You! Stop right there!  
  
~Carl dives atop the man and proceeds to wrestle his arms behind him. The cameraman comes running over, out of breath (Like always)~  
  
Carl: You have the right to remain silent.  
  
~He said, cuffing the obvious criminal here~  
  
Carl: Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. You have the right to an attorney AFTER we have forced a confession out of you. Do you understand the rights I have just issued?  
  
~The man only gurgled through his blood filled mouth~  
  
Carl: Don't get smart with ME, smart guy.  
  
~He pulled out his pepper spray~  
  
Carl: Say another word, and I'll lazer-tazer your ass. You got any ID?  
  
~Another blood-soaked response~  
  
Carl: I warned you asshole!  
  
~Carl dug the tazer into his back and zapped him a good one. He turned back to Mitch~  
  
Carl: Are you going to press charges against this piece of trash?  
  
Mitch: Damn right I am. He assaulted one of my friends. Hey, mind if I take a hit at him?  
  
~Carl looked around~  
  
Carl: Well, I'm really not suppose to. ok. But make it fast.  
  
~Mitch dug into his pocket and produced a pair of Brass Knuckles. Sliding them on, he reared back and hit the criminal in the chest~  
  
Carl: Ok, that's it. We're getting this waste of space back to the station.  
  
~He opened the back door to the car and threw the bloodied assailant in, causing him to his head on the opposite door~  
  
Carl: Bloody up the back of this cruiser and your in for it.  
  
~He warned his captive~  
  
~Carl slammed the door and looked at the camera~  
  
Carl: Yeah, it's always SOMEONE attacking Mitch and his buddies. I'm surprised they don't start anything.  
  
~The screen begins to fade, and COPS is seen~  
  
Carl: But like they say, you just got to take them down, one at a time. 


	2. Chapter 2

COPS Vice City  
Chapter 2  
  
Legal notice: I still hold no rights to the mention of Vice City or any characters/ places therein. Nor do I own any rights to COPS, as Fox owns that as well. Damn I wish I were original.  
  
Authors Note: Well, it seems that I have had some mixed reviews on the first chapter alone. People liking it, some pointing out to me what COPS was really about, so there's only one way to combat this. Mix them. From simple to complex GTA hilarity, this is Vice City COPS. If you had any doubt that I would continue this, this second chapter must mean something. Just try to enjoy them.  
  
Vice City; Little Havana  
  
1:34 PM  
  
'Well, I've been working for Vice City Police for close to five years now. You never really get surprised anymore. We seem to get calls ranging from shootings, theft and even to people trying to dig this state in half. That's ok though. I like my job.'  
  
Officer David Hoth.  
  
'Well it seems that we just got a call in about a hostile situation a few streets over. Something about someone slapping a woman around. We're going to report to the scene right now.'  
  
Officer David steps on the gas and hits the lights.  
  
'Ok, looks like the report says it's a white male, 120 pounds and a Hispanic female involved in this one.'  
  
David speeds down the road, blaring his siren at the cars in front of him. A little further down the road, David comes to a stop in front of Robina's Café, where another police cruiser is already parked. David exits the car, as does the cameraman.  
  
'Where the hell is this guy?' It did not appear that the police car was occupied, and there was no cop on the street. There were, however, sounds of violence in the alley behind the café.  
  
David pulled out his gun and charged.  
  
Running into the alley, David shot off a few rounds into the air.  
  
'Hold it right there!' David yelled, shooting first with every intention to ask questions later.  
  
'Holy s(beep)t!' the other officer yelled, falling to the ground 'What the hell are you doing?'  
  
'I figured you were being assaulted-'  
  
'No you fool!' The other officer said. A woman stood up next to him. She was of Hispanic culture, and she pulled at her clothes.  
  
'What's going on here? Did she attack you or not?'  
  
'No I was just-' the woman moved up next to him and embraced his arm 'Just questioning her.'  
  
The woman laughed a little, and David noticed she had two black eyes.  
  
'What happened to her?' David asked.  
  
'Hey, I'll talk to her. You go talk to the other guy.'  
  
'Where is he?'  
  
'Oh, I locked him up in my car about 10 minutes ago. When I pulled up after getting a report call I pulled up and he was slapping her around.'  
  
Officer Larry Jones.  
  
Larry led David to his car where the pimp was locked up in the back. Larry opened the door.  
  
'Out.' He said.  
  
The pimp stepped out.  
  
'I'm going to go and question her some more.' Larry said 'You talk to him and get his story. I'll be back in about three minutes.'  
  
David nodded his head and turned t the pimp.  
  
'Alright Mr. Pimp. Let's rap.'  
  
'First off,' The pimp said 'It's Daryl. And secondly, don't say 'rap'. It's 'talk'.'  
  
'One more word out of you and I'll say you attacked me.'  
  
'What?! I never attacked no one!'  
  
'Oh really?' David asked 'then what are you going to tell your whore after we bust you for assault. I saw those black eyes.'  
  
'Nothing.' The pimp said 'I already done told the bitch twice.' He began to laugh at his own joke.  
  
'Fine then, you tell me what happened.'  
  
'Well, I was driving down the road, looking for my bitch, and I stopped at this red light over here.' Daryl points behind him 'So there I am, and the next thing I know, this guy in a green and blue over shirt JACKS my car!'  
  
'This still doesn't explain why you were slapping her around.'  
  
'Well, I get off the ground, mad as all hell, and I see her over there coming out of this house, shoving money between her t(beep)t's. So I walks over to her and I'm like 'Ey! You better be HANDING me 80% of that.' An' she's like '80%? Oh that's it, I'm DON'T wit' you.' So I was like 'Bitch, your done alright.' And that's when she got slapped.'  
  
'Did you hear this?' David asked Larry who was walking back from the alley, tucking his khaki shirt in.  
  
'Uh, yeah.' Larry said, pulling a 20 dollar bill out of his pocket 'I was hanging on every word.' He turned to the suspect he was 'interrogating'. 'Here. Go buy yourself something nice.'  
  
'Hey!' Daryl yelled, lurching for his business cut 'I had better see some of that money bitch!'  
  
'Hey!' Larry yelled 'Take it easy man.' Both Larry and David restrained him by grabbing his shoulders.  
  
'Get off me pig!' Daryl yelled 'I want my cut!'  
  
David pulled out his tazer.  
  
'I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.' David said.  
  
'Man, get your hands OFF me!' Daryl yelled, beginning to thrash around.  
  
Larry brandished his tazer as well.  
  
'Sir,' Larry began 'Settle down or we will have to restrain you.'  
  
'I don't care WHAT you do! I want my f(beep)ucking MONEY BITCH!'  
  
'Sir, I'm not going to warn you again.' David said.  
  
Daryl put his hands up and tilted his head.  
  
'Ok man.' He said 'I'm cool. I'm cool. I can handle this. I'll be ok.'  
  
David and Larry gave Daryl some room to breath. Daryl gave a second to a calm state, and attempted to rush his bitch again, screaming while doing so.  
  
David and Larry were much faster to respond.  
  
Larry reached and, with his tazer, zapped Daryl in the side. Daryl jolted from the voltage and fell on David.  
  
'He attacked me!' David claimed as Daryl fell to the street. 'Moving to defend!'  
  
Both David and Larry were now putting the boots to Daryl, with a good few shots from a tazer in on the side.  
  
After a few good kicks, David looks up and realizes that the camera is still there.  
  
'Turn that off!' David yells 'I said turn that f(beep)king thing off!'  
  
David swings at the camera, causing it to tip and fall over. The same scene is seen, only at an angle. The camera begins to fade out, but lands on static as soon as Larry hit it with his nightstick.  
  
The sound of tazer fire and boots landing on a pimp are heard.  
  
The COPS Vice City logo I seen.  
  
Authors note: Well, another clip, another opening for a new time frame. Stay tuned, it can only get better. 


	3. Chapter 3

Cops Vice City  
Chapter 3  
  
Legal Notice: If you don't know what belongs here, you have not read enough Fan Fics.  
  
Vice City Escobar International Airport 2:45 PM Routine Patrol  
  
'Well when I first started on the force, I was a file clerk. I finally moved up to patrolman after a few cops were shot when someone came in to bust out Cam Jones. I really cant say I knew the guys, so it really doesn't bother me.'  
  
-Patrolman Matt Pierce (3 kills)  
  
'There were reports in the area of frequent car theft from this parking lot across from the airport terminal. Cars come in by day and are gone by morning. With any luck, we'll see what's going down.'  
  
3:30 PM Suspicious Activity  
  
'Ok, over there someone is walking around the parking lot and just kind of wandering around the parking lot. He looks suspicious, so I'm going to call it in.'  
  
Matt picks up his radio and punches a button.  
  
'Headquarters, this is patrolman pierce. Suspicious activity in the Escobar International Airport parking lot.'  
  
'Received. Monitor and call in with any more information.'  
  
'Roger. Out.'  
  
'Ok, this could get good. If this is the guy, any second he's going to- look at that. Ok, he's just knocked out that car's window.'  
  
Matt picks up his radio again and calls in.  
  
'Suspect has broken into a car. This is the one we're looking for.'  
  
'Received. Proceed with caution. Suspect is armed and dangerous.'  
  
'Out.'  
  
Matt puts his radio back and looks back out the window.  
  
'Ok, we're going to keep watch until he moves.'  
  
Matt drums his fingers on the steering wheel.  
  
'Alight. We're moving.'  
  
Officer Matt picks up his radio again.  
  
'Headquarters, this is car 34. The suspect is moving. I'm moving to follow.'  
  
'Roger.' Came the reply 'proceed with caution.'  
  
'Out.' Matt hung up the radio.  
  
'Ok, we're going to give him some room then we're going to stop him.'  
  
The stolen car speeds up after the driver rounds a corner. Matt accelerates to match his speed. Hitting the lights and siren, Matt gives chase.  
  
'Ok, he defiantly knows we're here. He's speeding up.'  
  
After weaving in and out of a few cars, the driver of the stolen car takes a hard left, leaving most of his tires on the road. Matt's patrol car squeals as it follows at such a sharp turn. He picks up his radio again.  
  
'In pursuit. Heading North into Little Havana.'  
  
A little further up the road, the driver makes another hard turn and skids into Sunshine Autos.  
  
Matt had missed the driveway, so he cut the wheel and right across the lawn, narrowly missing a tree and a light post.  
  
'Sh(beep)t!' Matt said as his car bottomed out over the sidewalk.  
  
Before Matt could get out of the car, the car thief was already running inside the building. Through the display glass that encased the showroom, Matt could see that he had run upstairs. He picked up his radio.  
  
'Suspect on foot. Has gone into Sunshine Autos. Send assistance so we can get him out.'  
  
From the upstairs window of Sunshine Autos, large automatic caliber rounds pounded into the hood of Matt's patrol car.  
  
'F(beep)k! Shots fired! Shots fired!' he yelled into the radio 'Send backup! Lots of backup!'  
  
The camera shook as Matt grabbed the cameraman.  
  
'Get out of the car! We can't stay here!'  
  
Matt grabbed his shotgun and rolled out of the cruiser. Crawling to the back of the car, he met with the cameraman.  
  
'Stay down. He's got a heavy weapon in there.'  
  
While the two waited for backup to arrive, a few more bursts of M4 fire hit both the ground near the car, and the car itself.  
  
Among the more forces to show up were two police cars with two officers in each, and an armored SWAT van, crammed with 6 people.  
  
Out of the three vehicles, the men piled out.  
  
Matt was signaled over by a member of the SWAT group, clad in heavy armor.  
  
'What have we got here?' SWAT commander Joseph Nedry  
  
Matt went on to tell what had happened and how he got here.  
  
'Ok.' Jose said 'we have an observation post across the street looking for a face to name. Until we say so, we need all of you COPS' (defiantly stressed) 'to just keep low and out of our way.'  
  
Matt nodded. There was just no arguing with these guys. They were better paid, liked better by Alex Shrub, and had a nasty temper. Oh well. Could be worse.  
  
The SWAT commander's radio crackled and he went to answer the call.  
  
'ID on suspect confirmed.' The radio reported 'Crime labs has sent back the name E-Z B. Local weapons dealer. He's probably got a small arsenal in there so take caut-'  
  
The radio transmission was interrupted by very loud automatic weapon fire.  
  
'Down!' Joe yelled as he jumped behind the SWAT van, the ground around him practically exploding. 'Holy sh(beep)t! What was that?'  
  
The radio came alive again with a report.  
  
'He's got an M60 up there! God damn, an M60!'  
  
More static rolled over the radio. Joe attempted to decipher the mixed signals.  
  
'Damn.' Jose said as a fancy sports car pulled up, red light flashing in the front window.  
  
Out of the car stepped two police officers, as marked as their car was. They both slammed the doors of the car and pulled out their Uzi's. Checking them, they crouched behind their car.  
  
'Ok, calm down every one. We're here now. Everything is under control.' Special Agent Bubs  
  
The other cop pointed up at the windows.  
  
'Oh damn, he' aiming at something!' Special Agent Jones  
  
Once again, everyone took cover as the M60 did the talking for the car thief. It punched through a few police cars, causing them to light on fire. The cops around them ran for safer cover.  
  
After a few seconds of burning, the car blew up.  
  
'We cant wait for this-' Joe growled 'SWAT team! Form up! Covering fire on my mark! Gun and run! Front door. Get ready!'  
  
The SWAT members formed up and checked their weapons.  
  
'Let's go!'  
  
There were bursts of moth M60 and light machine gun fire as the SWAT team ran forward. The police themselves opened up on the windows with their pistols and shotguns.  
  
The cameraman was able to get a look at the scene. All of the members of the SWAT group had made it in the building and were taking cover behind what they could.  
  
'Well,' Matt said, looking at the camera 'At least we can't be shown up any more today.'  
  
Just as Matt had finished his sentence, three big black ranchers pulled up. Out of each one, four men wearing black suits and carrying MP5's filed out.  
  
'Oh crap.' Matt said 'The FBI.'  
  
'Vice City FBI.' On of the agents said, no name supporting him appeared at the bottom of the screen 'this is under our jurisdiction now. Just pack up and move along. Unless you want to see how REAL tax money is spent.'  
  
The agent waited for a reply, and when he did not get one, he turned to look at the amassing agents.  
  
'Ok men,' He said 'we all know the drill. Check weapons.'  
  
All of the FBI agents loaded their weapons.  
  
'Take aim.'  
  
They shouldered their weapons and aimed at what remained of the glass window on the top floor. The large barrel of the M60 smoked, not firing, but waiting for the right time to fire.  
  
'Open fire!'  
  
Both the MP5s and the M60 went off. The cameraman fell over from the sound, the camera landing so the upstairs was in view, but on it's side. Bullets destroyed both everything in the window, and the vehicles on the ground.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
5:00 PM  
  
Sunshine Autos, Vice City  
  
The FBI agents were leading a man out of the building in handcuffs.  
  
For the most part, he was a normal looking guy. He was dressed in a black V- Rock leather jacket, loose blue jeans and large boots. Who would have though that E-Z B, Vice City's scummiest weapons dealer, would be taken alive after killing one government agent, a SWAT team member and three cops?  
  
E-Z B was put in the back of one of the black ranchers.  
  
'No rock and roll where YOU'RE going, son.' One of the agents said to him as he helped him into the rancher.  
  
The driver and two other agents climbed in. The engine was cranked on, lights and siren went off, and E-Z B was on his way to face many a different charge.  
  
'Unfortunately,' Matt said as the screen began to fade 'That happens all too often.'  
  
The COPS logo is seen.  
  
Authors Note: That was more of a dedication fic to E_Z B. He allowed to work off of his great idea, but asked to be added into a fic. Well, living up to my word, there you are. Enjoy, because I don't do this often. Thanks again man. 


	4. Chapter 4

COPS Vice City  
Chapter 4  
  
Legal Notice: I still do not own any of these names. Stolen copyrighted material. If sued, I could face jail time. May impair your ability to operate machinery.  
  
Vice City Vice City Beach  
  
5:54 PM Disturbance Call  
  
'A call came into the station saying that there was a small problem at the Vice City Light House. Before we could get any more information, the call was terminate from the other line. There's no telling what could be going on at the moment.' Sergeant Scott Connors  
  
The patrol car cruised down the street toward the lighthouse. The lights of the buildings gave the street a pink glow.  
  
On a corner, Scott turned the car onto a dirt road. As the police car traveled down the road, the lighthouse could be seen through the palm trees.  
  
The road to the lighthouse narrowed, so Scott stopped the cruiser and got out. Checking his pistol, Scott headed off to look for a 'disturbance'. Since he took off at a good pace, but at a pace that the overweight, under fit cameraman had to run full steam to keep up.  
  
The cameraman had finally come out of the shadows, and the camera light was flipped on. When the picture focused, the image was of Scott standing at the base of the lighthouse, looking up.  
  
The cameraman panned up, and the image was now of a man pixilated from the neck down. All of the boxes were flesh colored. This 'disturbance' was wearing only running shoes.  
  
'Good evening.' Scott yelled to the man 'Nice night out, huh?'  
  
The naked man waved drunkenly at Scott and the camera, swaggering the whole time.  
  
'This is odd indeed.' Scott said 'we don't get this too much.' Scott looked back up at the naked man 'How about coming down here so we can talk?'  
  
The man shook his head.  
  
'This is not going to be an easy job.'  
  
The man, obviously under the influence of something, mad ea bad attempt to walk down the stairs.  
  
'Sir,' Scott called to him 'be careful sir.'  
  
The naked man, looking to see who or what called him, stumbled down the remaining 14 steps.  
  
Either uninjured or numbed to the pain, the man stood up. Scott walked up to him.  
  
'Good evening again.' Scott said 'So what's the story with you?'  
  
The man mumbled something for a good 10 minutes. Scott nodded his head in agreement with him the whole time.  
  
'Ok sir,' Scott said, prodding him along with his nightstick toward the car ' 'Let's get you down to the station so we can talk about this.'  
  
The mention of 'the station' enraged the guy. He took off running. Scott attempted to make chase, but decided it better to NOT tackle him. Instead, Scott ran back to his car and picked up the radio.  
  
'This is sergeant Connors; I'm going to need some backup. A very white male, brown hair, blue eyes wearing white running shoes is on foot. Requesting helicopter support.'  
  
'Repeat description.' The radio operator said.  
  
'White male, brown hair, blue eyes, probably 136 pounds and close to 5' 9", wearing white shoes.'  
  
'Sergeant, what color clothes was he wearing?'  
  
'No clothes, He's gone commando.'  
  
There was a long pause where no radio contact was made. When the radio did answer, it was no longer the regular dispatcher. It was someone laughing.  
  
'Someone took off, wearing nothing?'  
  
'Correct.' Scott answered.  
  
More laughter over the radio. Behind the sound of laughter, the sound of rotor blades was heard. Looks like the VCPD helicopter was up and running.  
  
'All units, all units' the radio operator said 'be advised, units be on the lookout for a white male in nothing but tennis shoes. Capture and detain.'  
  
The helicopter was overhead with its search light on. More and more blue and white lights were seen on the street since the call was made.  
  
'Well,' Scott said 'All we can do now is just go out and search, or just hope nothing else goes wrong tonight. Well, I should probably hit the streets again. No telling WHERE this guy could be.'  
  
Scott got back into his car, as did the cameraman. Once he had pulled back onto the road, Scott made a right. Passing the Ocean View Hotel, he turned down the street that housed the Security building. Though there were not too many people on the street, finding this guy was not going to be easy. Unless he landed on a police cruiser's hood.  
  
'Unit 317 has spotted the subject.' Came the announcement over the radio. 'Giving foot chase.'  
  
Scott Picked up his radio and accelerated.  
  
'317, where are you?'  
  
'Suspect is down! Suspect subdued. Vice City Public Docks. Request a carrying car.'  
  
'All units!' Scott said into the radio 'report to the docks. This could be good.'  
  
He sped off down the road, heading for the docks.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The scene opens back up as Scott pulls into the parking lot of the docks. The naked suspect was being loaded into another police car.  
  
Scott walked up to another officer.  
  
'So what happened? Where did you find him?'  
  
'Well, we had just gotten the call on the radio, and I was right up the street from here. Anyway, I was going to make a turn onto another street, and there's this naked guy in the crosswalk. It's a good thing he jumped, but DAMN, he slid across the hood of my car!' Officer Matt Mero  
  
'Well at least we got him.' Scott said, digging into his pockets and pulling out a wallet. 'here.' Scott said, handing Matt 10 dollars 'Get you hood cleaned.'  
  
The camera shot back to the car that was pulling out with the detained suspect in it.  
  
'First time I've seen that before.' Scott said as the screen began to darken 'But this is Vice City, and everything is possible.'  
  
The COPS logo is seen.  
  
Authors note; Like it? Hate it? Be sure to use that 'review' button! 


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